The Question about Questions

Ok, yes. It has been over a year since I have written on this blog. As much as I would love to give great excuses for my lack of commitment, I simply have none. Although, I can say that this year has been quite a ride for me, as I finding that it has been for everyone. So many new places to go. So many new dreams to fulfill. It seems everyone is moving on to the next place God has for them. It's totally awesome! That is, unless you are the one feeling you are on the outside looking in. Feeling like everyone else is flying past you and you are stuck watching them saying "Why?" and "When?" Questions flow through your mind like a tidal wave. Doubt creeps in and tells you that you aren't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough... you name it. Let's face it, we have all been there at one point or another,and I have talked to quite a few people that feel the same way right now. In reality though, I'm writing this because it's what I have been experiencing in my own life over the past few months.
My life has changed a lot and quickly. To be honest, a lot of it I just don't understand. I certainly wish I did, but I guess that is how life goes sometimes. Circumstances, the actions of others, and trials are out of our hands to control. But who does control them? All my life I've had it grained into me that the answer to that question is ultimately God. But, come on, who of us hasn't looked at certain moments in our lives and thought "God, could you really be in control of this?" It's in these times that the questions arise. And when we try to answer them on our own, the doubt comes in.
Yet, here's the thing. Have you ever looked at the word "question"? I mean really look at it. I know that this isn't the root of the word, but have you ever noticed that the word "quest" is right smack at the beginning of it? Crazy! So I got thinking. Things like that usually don't pop out to me unless there is a reason. And I think I know why. My questions are supposed to take me on a quest.
What kind of quest? Well, I guess it kind of depends on the questions themselves. But here is what I think. Now, understand that I am no way trying to be an expert in anything, this is just what I have taken from my own life and recent experience. I believe that our questions should lead us to discover the truth, and that Truth is ultimately God's Word and all that He is. Questions get us thinking. They get us thinking about the whos, whats, wheres, hows, whens, and whys. And when we seek the answers to those questions in the Truth of God's Word, they get answered.
Sounds to easy and cheesy for us, right? Well, let's take me for example. So these crazy things and changes have been happening in my life. I don't understand any of it. My mind fills with those familiar questions - "God, why?" What is the first human reaction to a question filled with so much emotion like that? Come up with an answer on your own! Which is exactly what I did. Unfortunately this didn't turn out well for me, as it won't for any of us. In our fallen, human, and natural minds we can't see or understand a lot of things. My answers where things like "I am a failure and mistake," "I'm not good enough so why even try," "God won't want to use me because I failed so many times." Yet, the crazy and wonderful thing is God doesn't see what we see. He sees infinitely into the past and future. He sees every inch that will turn into a mile. He doesn't look at the present situation and panic. He looks at every step of this journey on earth (or "quest," if you will) and knows what the end result will be. If we allow Him to take these questions and bring us the answers in the Truth of His Word, then we will learn and grow more than we could ever dream possible. Sometimes I think God is more interested in the journey than the end result.
Now, please understand that I am not at all saying God causes trials and hard times in our lives on purpose in order for us to learn and grow in our faith. I am a firm believer that God is a God of love and compassion and hates to see us hurting and suffering. But these do come up in a fallen world, and the only sure answer one can ever find is to run straight to the arms of God, where there is all joy, peace, and comfort in the Blood of Jesus Christ. If we allow ourselves to find our answers in Him and in His Word, the circumstances will still be there be we can rest assured that God is on our side and moving in our behalf.
So, what SHOULD have been the answers to my personal questions? To be honest, I am still on my quest of finding them. But there are truths in the Word of God that I know I can stand on. Truths that have stood the test of time, and have been the answers for every generation. I am a child of God through the Blood of Jesus Christ. Nothing I have or can do, nothing man has done to me, nothing that hurts, nothing that I lose, nothing that seeks to destroy can take that ultimate truth away from me. As Paul puts it so well, "Nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." What a thought! I encourage you to read Romans 8 if you have a chance. And, case you didn't know, the Bible is full of the words of how much God loves us and who we are to Him! I forgot those things because I let my questions become more important than God, but by His grace this quest is now being played out differently. Not perfectly by any means, but in Him and in His truth because He loves me. I'm not perfect or necessarily anything special in the worlds eyes, but I am something special to Him. And you are too!
There is so much more I could say, but there is so much to do, and sleep is a necessary part of getting that accomplished. Please ignore the "bad English." Like I said, I am not perfect!